English |
 | #2815 A lecture about English
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a... |
| #2814 Amazing Anagrams
Amazing Anagrams
Dormitory == Dirty Room
Desperation == A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code == Here Come Dots
Slot Machines == Cash Lost in ,em
Animosity == Is No Amity
Snooze Alarms == Al... |
| #2779 Quips & quotes
Q: How many letters are there in the alphabet?
A: Twenty-four, because E.T. went home.
Q: What do you call Santa`s Helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses!
Q: What does Santa call his wife at tax ... |
| #1692 Tips to improve your writing
1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
3. Employ the vernacular.
4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
5. Parenthetical remarks (howev... |
| #1691 Europe English
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her ... |
| #1690 Poem of English
Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow diz... |
| #1689 Creative wording
BEING CREATIVE WITH TROUBLESOME KIN
You are working on your family genealogy and for sake of example, let's say that your great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged ... |
| #1688 Stop redundancy
The Committee for the Reduction of Redundancy and the Antiproliferation of Repetition has decided not to meet until they have their first meeting and thus will not be meeting until the first time.
... |
| #1687 Canada America
An American will say, "Hot day!" A Canadian will say, "Hot day, eh?" meaning "It's a hot day, isn't it?"
This is something deeper than spelling or pronunciation. It goes to the heart of the less-as... |
| #1686 Canada language
How you can spot a Canadian, eh? -Don McGillivray (Ottawa columnist for Southam Newspapers)
How do you tell a Canadian from an American?
It used to be enough to ask him to say the alphabet. When... |
| #1685 Alphabet letters
How many letters are there in the alphabet?
Noel, noel, noel, noel ... the angels did say...
E.T. went home.
Get rid of X. There's too many unknowns in the world already!
(Only one vowel l... |
| #1684 Spelling checker
Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight f... |
| #1683 English language
The English Language
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the ha... |
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