 | #7365 Kids
Kids in back seats cause accidents, accidents in back seats cause kids.... |
| #6464 Never blame a legislative body
Never blame a legislative body for not doing something. When they do nothing, they don't hurt anybody. When they do something is when they become dangerous... |
| #6463 During the Middle Ages
During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were "just going down to the corner... |
| #6462 The world is divided up into two groups
The world is divided up into two groups of people. Those who think the world is divided up into two groups of people and those who do not.
... |
| #6461 Imagine an imaginary menagerie
Can you...
imagine an imaginary menagerie manager
imagining managing an imaginary menagerie?
... |
| #6460 It would be terrible
It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there... |
| #6459 It sure would be nice if we got a
It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, ... |
| #6458 Hello. You have reached the Coalition
Hello. You have reached the Coalition to Eliminate Answering Machines. Unfortunately, no one can come to the phone right now... |
| #6457 This year, World Standards Day
This year, World Standards Day was October 14.
In the US, the day was marked on October 11.
-Annals of Improbable Research
... |
| #6456 They reckon it was the cigarettes
"They reckon it was the cigarettes that killed him, but he's been smoking for 68 years I don't see why it would kill him now!" ... |
| #6455 Women will never be equal to men until
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a big gut, and still think they are beautiful... |
| #6454 You can listen to thunder after lightening
You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit.
If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
... |
| #6453 I read this article that said the typical
I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
... |
| #6452 They say if you build a better mouse trap
They say if you build a better mouse trap, the world will beat down your door. But usually, it's just one neighbor, and he,ll probably quit once you stop throwing dead mice in his yard.
- Dave Jam... |
| #6451 When I hear on the news about someone
When I hear on the news about someone being killed "execution style," it makes me wonder what other styles there are.
... |
