 | #5450 women drivers are a hazard to traffic
I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on I-95 I look over to my left and there,s this woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her ... |
| #5449 the bar, Harvey said to the bartender
Walking into the bar, Harvey said to the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one, Eddie. I just had a fight with the little woman."
"Oh yeah," said Eddie. "And how did this one end?"
"When it was over... |
| #5446 that one day I would have a boyfriend
When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a boyfriend.
When I was 16 I got a boyfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.
In college I... |
| #5445 the relatives gathered
At a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
Surveying the worried faces, the doctor sa... |
| #5444 work one Friday afternoon
A man left from work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck.
When He finally appea... |
| #5443 Laws For Women To Live By
Don,t imagine you can change a man - unless he,s in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them ... |
| #5442 Manager was complaining
A�manager was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn,t getting any respect.
The next morning he brought in a small sign that read, "I,m the boss" and taped it to his door.
When he ... |
| #5441 group of guys and one girl
A group of guys and one girl are sitting together at a baseball game. During the game the guys notice the girl knew just as much about the game as themselves, and are really impressed. After the game ... |
| #5440 Stumpy and his wife Martha
Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the State Fair every year.
Every year Stumpy would say, "Martha, I,d like to ride in that there airplane." And every year Martha would say, "I know, Stumpy, but ... |
| #5439 staggers into an emergency room
A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.
Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.
"Wel... |
| #5438 50th wedding anniversary
Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Jack says to Betty, "Betty, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?"
Betty replies, "Oh Jack, why would you ask such a questio... |
| #5437 A 75 year old man went to his doctor
A 75 year old man went to his doctor,s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day, the 75 year ol... |
| #5436 the one about the overprotective
Did you hear the one about the overprotective farmer and his three daughters?
Whenever one of his daughters had a date, he would meet the young man at the door with a shotgun in his hand.
One ... |
| #5435 WOMAN
Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don,t even go there!)
Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and mayfreeze any time. Melts whenever treated properly.... |
| #5434 Why Men Are (Justifiably) Proud of Themselves
We know stuff about tanks
A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
We can open all our own jars
We can go to the bathroom without a support group
We don,t have to learn to spell a new last name... |
