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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Science

#3219 The alcohol trouble
During grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols: The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each g...
#3218 Chem one-liners 04
Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties? A: Methylated Spirits! Q: How many atoms in a guacamole? A:Avocado`s number. Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole? A: Avogadros. Free...
#3217 Chem one-liners 03
Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium and just couldn`t put it down? What`s the formula for water? -H-two-O What`s the formula for an ice cube? -H-two-O-CUBED ...
#3216 Chem one-liners 02
Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one, but he`ll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration. ...
#3215 Chem one-liners 01
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl. -- Mike Adams Chemicals: Noxious substances from which modern foods are made. Re...
#3214 Jokes of science 03
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side. Why did the chicken cross the road? Issac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest, chickens in motion tend to cross roads....
#3213 Jokes of science 02
The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist`s office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. "Hmmm," says the theorist, "That`s exactly where you`d expect to see that peak. ...
#3212 Jokes of science 01
At the physics exam: `Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.` Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at baseball games? A: The `wave`. The Stanford Linear Accelerator ...
#3211 Real chemistry names
REAL CHEMISTRY NAMES OF REAL PEOPLE Gold J. of North Carolina Silver J. of North Carolina Argon C. of Guam Florine J. of Tennessee Clorine J. of Maryland Benzena J. of South Carolina Ethy...
#3210 Rhymes in chemistry
CHEMISTRY RHYMES Old Man Stokes Old man Stokes was a gentleman fine Who lived beside the Raleigh line; Old anti-Stokes, his existance denied, Lived never-the-less on the other side...
#3209 Earth science answers
REAL ANSWERS FROM EARTH SCIENCE EXAMS The terrestrial planets are much larger than the gas giants. Wegener found matching bedbugs on opposite sides of the Atlantic. The main problem associa...
#3208 Asked in science class
REAL QUESTIONS ASKED IN SCIENCE CLASSES Are the rivers flowing up the mountain or down the mountain? Is that the ocean? (Asked while on a field trip to Marine Lab Beach on Guam (a small island ...
#3207 Dedicated geologists
Total immersion geologists Total immersion geologists: Are you totally obsessed with geology? If so, then you are a total immersion geologist. Here are the ten warning signs: 1. You judge a res...
#3206 Geology word plays
Several short geology plays on words Okay, if you are a real geologist, you probably enjoy transferring geology vocabulary into everyday situations. For example, if you agree with what someone has ...
#1110 A geologist`s song 04
Newfoundland, My Newfoundland (Oh, Christmas Tree, Oh, Christmas Tree) by Brenna Lorenz Convection,s cell was at thy door, Newfoundland, my Newfoundland, Thy ancient heart to pieces tore, Newfo...


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