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Customer to waiter
Why are you writing very slowly?
I have swallowed a key
An old rich man buys hearing aids
A Kid calls the Help Desk
A blonde man filling up an application form
A Blonde cuts sides of the capsule before taking it
This is the only way
A ship is sinking


Dealing with a juggler
Careful when you wish
Answering machine message 67
Getting into fights
Go on a hiking trip
A snail buys a fast new car
Boat troubles
A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast
Woman is on a bus

Business

#120 Business one-liners 16
Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes clear to the bone. Before you give a colleague a piece of your mind, be sure you can spare it. Being a good communicator means people find out what is really ...
#119 Business one-liners 15
As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse. As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens. Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes. Assumption is the mother of all f...
#118 Business one-liners 14
Anything is possible, but nothing is easy. Anything labeled "New" and/or "Improved" isn,t. The label means the price went up. The label "All New", "Completely New", or "Great New" means the price w...
#117 Business one-liners 13
Any wire cut to length will be too short. Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry. Anyone can admit they were wrong; the true test is admitting it to someone else. Anyone w...
#116 Business one-liners 12
Any minimum criteria set will be the maximum value used. Any producing entity is the last to use its own product. Any simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way. Any smoothly func...
#115 Business one-liners 11
Any change looks terrible at first. Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of the most harm. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. Any given program, when...
#114 Business one-liners 10
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. An executive will always return to work from lunch early if no one takes him. An error in the premise will appear in the conclus...
#113 Business one-liners 09
All warranties expire upon payment of invoice. All work and no play, will make you a manager. Almost everything in life is easier to get into than to get out of. Always hire a rich attorney. ...
#111 Business one-liners 08
All I ask is the chance to prove that money cannot make me happy. All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way. All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue the...
#109 Business one-liners 06
A stagnant science is at a standstill. A theory is better than its explanation. A transistor protected by a fast-acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first. A well-adjusted person is ...
#107 Business one-liners 05
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer. A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants. A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool som...
#106 Business one-liners 04
A good scapegoat is hard to find. A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years. A good solution can be successfully applied to almost any problem. A lack of leadership is no substitute for...
#105 Business one-liners 03
day without sunshine is like night. A disagreeable task is its own reward. A donkey is a horse designed by a study team. A fail-safe circuit will destroy others. A flying particle will se...
#102 Business one-liners 01
A President of a democracy is a man who is always ready, willing, and able to lay down your life for his country. A backscratcher will always find new itches; a brown-noser will always find new sen...


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