 | #2797 Counting some sheep
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and so he decides to go to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can,t get to sleep at night," complains the man.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" inquired th... |
| #2796 Hiring an accountant
Kowalski, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seve... |
| #2795 Accountant in Heaven
An accountant dies and goes to Heaven. He reaches the pearly gates and is amazed to see a happy crowd all waving banners and chanting his name.
After a few minutes St. Peter comes running across an... |
| #2794 Stockbroker at I.R.S.
The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accounta... |
| #2793 Buying your ticket
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How ... |
| #2792 Q and A 11
Q: What is the definition of an accountant?
A: Someone who solves a problem, you didn,t know you had, in a way you don,t understand.
Q: What does an accountant do for birth control?
A. He tal... |
| #2790 Q and A 10
Definition: A manager is a person who thinks that nine women can produce a child in one month.
Robots: Our Steel Collar Workers.
Q: What,s the difference between Xerox and the Titanic?
A: The... |
| #2789 Business one-liners 112
Galbraith,s Law of Human Nature: Faced with the choice between changing one,s mind and proving that there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.
Gerrold,s Laws of Infernal Dy... |
| #2787 Business one-liners 32
Seisline prayer: O Lord, grant that we may always be right, for thou knowest we will never change our minds.
Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line.
Say no, then negotiate.
Science is a... |
| #2786 Business one-liners 07
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.
After any unit has been completely assembled, extra components will be found on the bench.
Afternoon: that part of the day we spend wo... |
| #463 Buy machine factory
An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the buil... |
| #462 Investment counselor
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. The investment banker b... |
| #460 Daughter in college
Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter,s college education?
As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him aw... |
| #459 Newest ATM machines
"The fees for withdrawing money from your ATM machines are expected to double, even triple. You,re gonna pay two to three as much to withdraw your money so basically the ATM machines have become full ... |
| #458 I`m at the wrong bank
Letterman,s Top Ten Signs You,re Doing Business With The Wrong Bank
10. When you make a deposit, tellers high-five each other.
9. After you get a free toaster, bank president shows up at your ho... |
