| #1716 Cats are thinking about I could have sworn I heard the can opener.
Is there something I,m not getting when humans make noise with their mouths?
Why doesn,t the government do something about dogs?
I wonder i... |
| #1101 Passing a parrot A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed pas... |
| #86 Installing a Carpet A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he`d lost his cigarettes.
In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.
``No... |
| #84 Horses at the Race A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse`s trainer meets him before the race and says, ``All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach... |
| #82 Dog Property Rules 1. If I like it, it`s mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it`s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it`s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it`s mine.
5. If I`m chewing something up, all the... |
| #80 Dogs and Light Bulbs How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. Then I`ll replace any wiring that`s not up to code.
Rottweiler: Make me!
Lab: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change th... |
| #74 The Feline Diet Most diets fail because we are still thinking and eating like people. For those us who have never had any success dieting. Well now there is the new Miracle Cat Diet! This diet will also work on human... |
| #72 Feline Physics Laws Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Law of Cat Motion
A cat w... |
| #70 Giving Cats Pills INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat`s mouth and gently... |
| #67 Sounds of the Wild A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.
Mother: "What does the cow say?"
Child: "Moo!"
Mother: "Great! What does the cat say?"
Child: "Meow."
Mother: "Oh, ... |
| #62 Ten Signs That You`re At A Bad Zoo 1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp.
3. The stripes on ... |
| #60 Cow on train tracks A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What`s going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replie... |
| #58 Buy alligator shoes A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes.
However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to ... |
| #55 Top 9 Signs Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password 9. E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."
8. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard.
7. You find you`ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
6. Your mouse... |
| #53 Question and answer animal jokes 01 Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Q: Why did the chicken scientist cross the road?
A: To invent the other side.
Q: Why did the chicken lawyer cross the road... |